Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Just When I Thought It Was Safe To Relax And Go To Sleep..




I love the message board at WTE. I've gotten a lot of great advice and learned some really neat stuff from the other mommies there. It's also nice to just be able to interact with mommies that have babies Drea's age.

But for the second time we've had a baby on our board die while sleeping. The verdict of whether this was actual SIDS or not is still out, because the medical exam and autopsy hasn't happened yet. The last time it happened I felt weirded out by the mother (I found out for sure she wasn't faking, but she still weirds me out even though I feel sorry for her), but this time I don't have the same feelings and doubts.

Averie's parents were really young, and they struggled to provide for their little boy. They weren't perfect parents (who is?), but they were trying their best to do the right things to support their son. He was eight months old - born just a little less than a week after Drea - and I'm sure his mom had been thinking (as I have been) that the risk of SIDS is decreased so much by this age that it's not something you should worry so much about.

I don't know details - I've heard that he was taking a nap and crawled underneath his blanket and they think he suffocated, but that's not SIDS technically. I have no idea how thick the blanket was or if he just happened to be under one and that makes them think he might have smothered. I have no idea. In the end the details never help me feel less nervous when I hear of something like this. You always hope though that there will be some sort of explanation so you can avoid the same thing happening to you.

I think about it every night. I have to sleep in a different room from Drea to sleep at all, because I constantly worry if she is still breathing. I've done everything I can do to prevent it; my baby is probably cold every night because I'm scared to even put so much as a receiving blanket in her crib. She rolls over on her tummy and scrunches up in a ball every night, and it makes me a nervous wreck. When I hear stories of all the myriad things that can suddenly take a child away I am consumed with fear for Drea. During the day I'm OK, but at night I have a hard time staying calm. I can't imagine how little Averie's mom feels; I hope and pray that I never find out.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear about the baby dying. The fear doesn't go away, when your children get older. You just have different things to worry about. We never would have thought that going a night without sleep could put our child in a coma. But it did. I'm so grateful Patrick was right there and woke up to find him. It's better not to dwell on what could have happened if he hadn't been.

    You just have to do the best you can to keep your kids safe without making yourself crazy. Driving people around you crazy is another matter. I'd rather be that hyper-vigilant mother who imported a rear-facing car seat from Sweden than the woman whose child died in a car wreck. Your instincts are right. Keep your baby close and keep checking up on her. (Don't you have a sleeping bag for her?) She'll let you know when she needs more independence.

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