Since Drea started sleeping all night I've spent a little time on some message boards for new mommies. I've seen many posts and threads about selfish husbands whose lives haven't changed in the slightest since having kids while their wives are basically exhausted zombies that haven't left the house in months. They watch the kids just long enough for their wives to take a shower and do some laundry (what a break!) and act like this is a big favor. They often spend evenings out with friends after work and wonder aloud why their wives are so tired and depressed when they "don't do anything all day". It makes me appreciate Brian that much more. I knew he was a great husband before Drea arrived, but I've been amazed at what a wonderful father he is. I feel like he deserves a lot of praise.
Our situation is different from most new parents. At the moment neither one of us is working, so that makes it easier for us to share parenting duties. But I still think there are a lot of men that wouldn't be as happy to. I would have to say that there are only between 2 and 4 hours in a day that he's awake that he's not taking care of Drea. There aren't many husbands that would do that whether working or not! He hasn't spent as much time around babies as I have, and there were a lot of things he didn't know at first (I am NOT saying that I knew everything). But I've seen him learn a lot about Drea really fast (she's really good about letting you know whether what you're trying works for her or not ;) ). He was pretty awkward with her at first, but he's gotten comfortable with experience. I think he's finally figured out she's not going to break if he pats her too hard.
Maybe it's because of the losses he experienced as a child, or maybe it's because there was a time he thought he wouldn't live long enough to have kids, but I have never seen a man so happy to be a husband and father. The way he looks at her when he's feeding her a bottle or playing and trying to make her smile or laugh shows me how much he loves being a daddy. The day after she was born I asked him what his thoughts were when he saw her. He told me that after everything he's been through; beating the odds and surviving that awful accident, surviving multiple organ transplants, and earning two degrees in spite of his health problems, having something to do with creating this baby was the thing he was most proud of in his life. He never takes either Drea or I for granted. We're both very lucky to have him in our family!
Sometimes I feel guilty, because Drea and I run errands or visit people while he's taking a (much needed) nap in the afternoon. This means we get out and leave the house at least two or three days of the week, while he sometimes goes a couple of weeks without ever leaving. He has the night shift so he doesn't see adult faces enough. We have a night out about once a month while my mom babysits, and he occasionally goes out to pick up supper somewhere (but most of the time I do that). Other than holidays or birthday parties that's the only time he's left the house. I love my dad, but I grew up in a house where mama took care of the kids and the house and daddy didn't do much when he got home from work. My dad loves his kids, but he never seemed to know what to do if it didn't involve playing. I wonder if Drea will ever know how blessed she is to have Brian as a father. I certainly appreciate what a wonderful husband he is, and I want to make sure he knows he's doing a great job as a daddy!
Since Drea started sleeping all night I've spent a little time on some message boards for new mommies. I've seen many posts and threads about selfish husbands whose lives haven't changed in the slightest since having kids while their wives are basically exhausted zombies that haven't left the house in months. They watch the kids just long enough for their wives to take a shower and do some laundry (what a break!) and act like this is a big favor. They often spend evenings out with friends after work and wonder aloud why their wives are so tired and depressed when they "don't do anything all day". It makes me appreciate Brian that much more. I knew he was a great husband before Drea arrived, but I've been amazed at what a wonderful father he is. I feel like he deserves a lot of praise.
Our situation is different from most new parents. At the moment neither one of us is working, so that makes it easier for us to share parenting duties. But I still think there are a lot of men that wouldn't be as happy to. I would have to say that there are only between 2 and 4 hours in a day that he's awake that he's not taking care of Drea. There aren't many husbands that would do that whether working or not! He hasn't spent as much time around babies as I have, and there were a lot of things he didn't know at first (I am NOT saying that I knew everything). But I've seen him learn a lot about Drea really fast (she's really good about letting you know whether what you're trying works for her or not ;) ). He was pretty awkward with her at first, but he's gotten comfortable with experience. I think he's finally figured out she's not going to break if he pats her too hard.
Maybe it's because of the losses he experienced as a child, or maybe it's because there was a time he thought he wouldn't live long enough to have kids, but I have never seen a man so happy to be a husband and father. The way he looks at her when he's feeding her a bottle or playing and trying to make her smile or laugh shows me how much he loves being a daddy. The day after she was born I asked him what his thoughts were when he saw her. He told me that after everything he's been through; beating the odds and surviving that awful accident, surviving multiple organ transplants, and earning two degrees in spite of his health problems, having something to do with creating this baby was the thing he was most proud of in his life. He never takes either Drea or I for granted. We're both very lucky to have him in our family!
Sometimes I feel guilty, because Drea and I run errands or visit people while he's taking a (much needed) nap in the afternoon. This means we get out and leave the house at least two or three days of the week, while he sometimes goes a couple of weeks without ever leaving. He has the night shift so he doesn't see adult faces enough. We have a night out about once a month while my mom babysits, and he occasionally goes out to pick up supper somewhere (but most of the time I do that). Other than holidays or birthday parties that's the only time he's left the house. I love my dad, but I grew up in a house where mama took care of the kids and the house and daddy didn't do much when he got home from work. My dad loves his kids, but he never seemed to know what to do if it didn't involve playing. I wonder if Drea will ever know how blessed she is to have Brian as a father. I certainly appreciate what a wonderful husband he is, and I want to make sure he knows he's doing a great job as a daddy!
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